


weed and circumstances

by Anonymous



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Hallucinations, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:00:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24758962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: for the kinkmeme prompt:At the suggestion of a well meaning Sylvain, Dimitri ate the Weed. However, instead of relaxing him, it only worsens his hallucinations and paranoid thoughts. Would love to see some hurt/comfort of Dimitri's partner reassuring him and helping him through it.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40
Collections: Anonymous





	weed and circumstances

Like most things, it starts with Sylvain jokingly mentioning it in passing – a suggestion, not voiced seriously enough to be listened to. Even though Dimitri has learned to somewhat read between the lines when it comes to Sylvain, he can’t bring himself to trust him fully when it comes to certain matters. That is why the first time he lets it slide. Sylvain too.

It’s no secret Dimitri’s state sometimes worsens, when fragments of the past come back to haunt him. His friends know it, his court knows, Sylvain must know it too. He hadn’t bothered to hide how little patience he had for Dimitri in his worst days – continues to this day too. When Dimitri’s grip is a little too strong, when his anger flares, when his words aim to hurt, Sylvain usually answers with the same vein.

Despite all this and in his better days, Dimitri likes to think he and Sylvain have formed a deeper sort of friendship. He knows Sylvain better, Sylvain knows him too. Once upon a time the thought of anyone knowing him that well, through his worst and best, would have been enough to wake the beast inside – but not anymore. Sylvain is a dear friend, one that he’s grateful not to have lost along the way.

The second time, Dimitri considers it. Because he cannot fully trust Sylvain, but a growing part of him desperately wants to. And Sylvain doesn’t have to prove yet again that his insight and pieces of advice are nothing but terrifyingly intelligent and thoughtful. So Dimitri trusts him with a personal matter this once, and concedes.

He doesn’t know how to feel about the fact Sylvain doesn’t look like he had expected Dimitri to agree at all, and seems to reconsider. He doesn’t retract the offer though, and they agree to a later date.

* * *

Sylvain closes the heavy wooden door behind him, a brown paper bag in his hands. That is where Dimitri’s gaze lingers, shortly, before eyeing Sylvain’s face for any clues on if he’s changed his mind or not. There is none, only a tight but kind smile. “Hello, Your Highness!” He waves with his free hand.

Dimitri nods. He waits for Sylvain to join him and take his usual seat next to him on the large couch. He doesn’t hide his curiosity then. “Is that… Is that the ‘little help’?”

Despite his smaller size, Sylvain always seems to take up more space than Dimitri. At the words, his smile turns playful. “Got that right.” Without opening it, he presents the bag to Dimitri with expectancy. “Wanna have a look?”

Dimitri hesitates. Eventually, he manages to convince himself that he’s agreed to this, he will do this, and whatever is in that bag will not jump at him. He takes it, and peers inside. He feels his eyebrows raise. “It’s… cookies.”

“Special cookies.” Sylvain corrects. “They look pretty good don’t you think?”

Dimitri takes one in his hand and inspects it. An overall pretty normal cookie, that would look delicious to anyone with taste. “Yes. Did Ashe cook this?”

Dimitri does not clearly see it, but feels very well the small pause it gives Sylvain. He laughs nervously. “Uh, yeah no, it’s from – it doesn’t matter.”

That does nothing to ease Dimitri’s mind. He lowers his hand, cookie in it. “Do you do this often?” This time, he makes sure to see Sylvain’s possible change in expression and turns his head.

Sylvain looks back at him, then away. “Sometimes.” He shrugs. “And I’m fine, am I not? It really – helps, you know. Let go of the stuff you don’t want to think about.” He looks at Dimitri once again, serious. “I’d prefer staying clear and watch over you, cause you know, first time, but I can join you in it too. Whatever you like.”

Dimitri takes his time to think it through. He doesn’t want to make Sylvain feel like he has to _babysit_ him in any manner, but also knows he is genuine when asking for what Dimitri himself truly wants. What he truly wants, is Sylvain guiding him through it. “I’d like you to stay by my side fully, if that’s not too much trouble.”

Sylvain grins, inching in Dimitri’s direction ever so slowly. “For you? Never.”

Dimitri smiles too, albeit a bit awkwardly. “Thank you, Sylvain.”

Sylvain stares for a bit too long. Dimitri is about to ask about how this is going to happen when Sylvain speaks, usual self confidence lacking. “Hey, are you… Sure about that? It’s not too late to stop.”

That surprises Dimitri only a little. He’s given his final out, after this there’s no going back. He thinks about all the workload awaiting him tomorrow, the ceremonies that need organizing, his dead father looming over his shoulder and he knows – he’s going to try this. Because that’s the only little help he can get right now. “I am. I am very sure.”

Sylvain looks skeptical but does not comment. “Alright then. Have a bite.”

Dimitri looks back at the cookie still in his hand. “What?”

“It’s all in the cookies.” Sylvain says. “You can easily eat one or two. It’ll take maybe an hour or so before you start feeling any different, so I hope you won’t mind my company for that long.”

Oh. “Right, of course.” Dimitri feels silly now, but hides his embarrassment by eating a large chunk of the baked good. It doesn’t taste like anything, why would it, and he takes another bite.

Sylvain’s hand come to pat him on the shoulder. “Wow, easy there. We’ve got time.” Dimitri swallows with difficulty indeed. “You’ve got any water in here anywhere?”

Dimitri nods, and stands up to get it himself. There should be a pitcher on a table somewhere, he finds it and pours himself a glass. “Should I eat another one?” He asks, to distract himself from the level of care he still has to use not to break anything.

Sylvain’s voice answers from way closer than he had expected. “Up to you, really. One’s probably good for a start though.” Dimitri nods, taking careful sips of water. He goes back to get the bag, and grab another cookie whose fate is similar to the first. He ignores the looks Sylvain give him. “So… what do you want to do while we wait?”

Dimitri hadn’t thought about that, and shuts up any thought encouraging him to plan ahead and review reports he _still_ hadn’t taken the time to read. Instead he wonders what kind of non work related activities he usually participates in with Sylvain, but comes up short. He would have loved to hear Sylvain’s opinion on today’s – he stops the train of thought. The whole point of Sylvain lending him a hand was to forget about such things for a second.

Thankfully, Sylvain understands his silence. “If you still have that card game around, we could go a round or two. We don’t even have to do anything if you’re too tired.”

Dimitri remembers now. He nods. “Yes.” It was a gift from Dedue, meaning he holds onto it dearly and knows very well where he left it. An old game, and a not so popular one. So much that very few people had known how to play the rare times Dimitri asked. Sylvain, of course, knows. Dimitri has given up trying to understand where and how exactly he gained these little bits of knowledge.

“Alright, on your go Your Highness.”

* * *

It lasts fifteen minutes at best before Dimitri vaguely feels how slow his movements are getting. He requests they put it on hold, and lies down on his bed. Awkwardly, Sylvain hovers nearby. “How do you feel?”

Not so different, Dimitri thinks to himself. He stares upwards at the canopy, not so surprised to see two blank eyes staring back. He shuts his eye, headache incoming. This isn’t working. “I am tired.” He rolls on his side, and sighs. “Do feel free to go, I’m afraid I’ll have to nap for now.”

Sylvain doesn’t answer for a long while, so much that Dimitri suspected he had truly gone away when he speaks again. “Sure. I’ll be right there.”

Then Dimitri dozes off.

* * *

No longer than a minute later, he’s painfully awake. The reality crashes down on him that he _never_ dozes off. He starts, pushing down the covers off him. Slowly his eye shift back into focus. A hand comes to grab him. He hisses.

“Oh, sorry.” Dimitri can’t exactly pin point that voice, and when he sees the red hair it comes back to him – Sylvain had never left. “You seem a little twitchy.”

Dimitri shakes his head. “I’m fine.” He lies, hoping Sylvain won’t see through it, knowing he inevitably will. “I don’t think it is ideal for me to nap.” He pulls himself out of the bed, ready to resume their game where they left it off. However, the card game is nowhere to be seen. That makes Dimitri stop.

“You’ve been napping for about an hour. I thought you were out for the night so I was about to leave when you…” He gestures at the bed, referring to Dimitri jumping awake for no apparent reason. Dimitri blinks. It’s not possible so much time has passed. He looks at the window, and the sun is long gone. Sylvain must have lit the candles. “You should feel it now. How is it?”

“What?” He asks, realizing his words sound muffled by something.

Sylvain is grabbing his shoulder again, fingers thin and bare, nails sharper than ever. “I said, did you really think we would leave?” It digs into his skin. “How does it feel?”

Dimitri grabs that wrist with a jerk, crushing it as hard as he can. It has been _months_ since he’s had this kind of visit. Tonight was supposed to – he really can’t go back to – “Leave me alone.” He demands, the snarl in his voice darker than he remembers it. “You can’t be here. I will not – ” He looks at where his hand clasps the ghost, to find it empty.

A few feet from him, there’s still red hair. Dimitri holds his breath. “Now?” Sylvain demands. “Dimitri, if you weren’t in the mood for – you should have told me! I asked you!”

On his right, a shadow grows bigger. Dimitri tries, he tries to ignore it as it begs for his attention. “You knew. You knew they would come back.” The shadow says. Dimitri does not want to believe that, and fights against the part of him that does.

Sylvain’s face twists in anger. “This might come off as a surprise to you, but I can’t exactly read your thoughts. Had I known I wouldn’t have proposed this, trust me!”

Dimitri focuses on that voice alone, and tries to walk towards it. His center of gravity feels a little off, but he manages without knowing down anything. “You said you would help.” His hands reach for balance through Sylvain’s shoulders. “You said you’d make me feel better.” Now, his hands touching a body that isn’t ice cold, he feels grounded.

The anger fades from Sylvain’s voice. “I – I wanted to, really, I thought… This really, really helps me sometimes I wanted you to feel the same way.”

It works, in a way: Dimitri lets go of everything, and does not think about tomorrow’s dawn or stupid ceremonies. Instead, he thinks about his jailer, on the other of that wooden door. Instead, he looks down at his feet, and sees pools of blood, of _her_ blood, and he doesn’t know what he was hoping for in a first place. He whimpers, shutting his eye with force.

“Hey, hey there, I got you.” Sylvain must be holding him completely now, he longer has the strength to stand upright alone. “Let’s get you to bed alright?”

Dimitri hums, and feels himself being lifted and put with much care on his bed. He stops Sylvain from pulling away completely, arms still clutching him tightly. He most likely drags him into the bed with him, awkwardly. Dimitri does not care, only knows that Sylvain’s heartbeats soothe the headache. He speaks, mouth dry. “I wanted – to feel _okay_. But I guess I never will, won’t I?” He only now feels the damp on his cheeks, his shortness of breath. “Be okay.”

Sylvain’s mouth is near his ear, every word sounding clearer than the empty nothingness around them. “Listen, I’m sorry, I didn’t consider you’d react like that and that’s on me. Stay with me, okay? You’ll be fine.” Fingers travel to his neck, drawing circles and soothing the muscles there.

Dimitri has completely trapped Sylvain in his arms, left him no escape whatsoever. If he wanted, he could easily crush a few bones, shatter in a matter of seconds the body of the living being resting in his arms. He sees it, in an external point of view. He sees his past self from two years ago, taking lives however he pleases, just because he can, because he has to and– and he weeps. “No, no, no I won’t be, I’ll hurt you, I’ll…” He holds on tighter. “I’ll hurt you again, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

This isn’t the first time Sylvain sees him break down. This isn’t the first time Sylvain stays long enough to see just how stuck Dimitri still is, how untamed the _boar_ is. Sylvain hates it just as much as Dimitri does. If this – wasn’t his fault, he’d be long gone. Maybe even now, if he had the choice, he’d leave while Dimitri can still distinguish the body pressed against him as Sylvain’s.

And this Sylvain does not struggle, does not even try to move out of Dimitri’s grasp. He merely chuckles. “Com’on Dimitri, you’re a big boy. You know it’s me. You’d never hurt me right?”

It contrasts with Dimitri’s blackening vision, the light in his tone. He clings to it. “Never, I’d never hurt you. I can’t let that happen.”

“That’s good to hear. Just, give me room to breathe okay? I’m a little huh, you know.”

Dimitri loosens his grip, bringing his hand lower to Sylvain’s waist. Sylvain breathes, and Dimitri focuses on that rhythm. Forgets about the blank eyes observing them, and the loud bangs on the door. They do not matter, and when morning comes will be gone. For a short time, but will be gone. Again, he apologizes, the only words with meaning he remembers.

Sylvain is talking again, but Dimitri makes no effort to understand him. He listens to his every word, afraid he’ll forget himself if not. Eventually, they lull him to sleep.

* * *

He rouses almost in the same exact position, room almost plunged in the dark. He disentangles himself from Sylvain, fights against his spinning head. Sylvain it seems it awake too, and gets to his feet much faster than Dimitri. Then Dimitri’s stomach growls, followed by a very embarrassing silence.

Sylvain chuckles. “I’ll get you something to eat. Don’t move.” He says, and Dimitri barely has time to answer before he’s out of the room.

Now, Dimitri is alone. He struggles to stand up, but eventually makes it to the couch and collapses once more. The spinning does not stop.

Sylvain is back again, arms full of real food. Dimitri does not even bother to hide his desperation as he dives right in anything he’s given. He thinks he should feel ashamed, but the satisfaction of filling his stomach smothers that feeling. He thinks he hears Sylvain amused laughs more than once. When he’s done, he sighs contently. “That wasn’t so bad.” Sylvain’s silence speaks volumes, and Dimitri furrows his brows. “Wasn’t it?”

Sylvain shrugs. “We won’t be doing it again that’s for sure. Do you want me to stay with you tonight?”

Dimitri almost slips out _why_ , but it comes back to him slowly. Oh. He starts to shake his head, before the prospect of having to be alone in that room once more scares him more than Sylvain hating him. “I’d – like that.”

Sylvain, he notices, looks very tired himself. He smiles nonetheless. “Alright big boy, let me grab my nightclothes and then we’ll move to the bed.” He winks. Dimitri feels proportionally embarrassed. He nods. Sylvain takes it as his cue to leave.

He finishes eating in a more moderate pace. He stumbles again to grab his own nightclothes, and feels overly tired at the mere thought of changing. He must stand there, doing nothing, for quite some time because Sylvain is once again back, and quick to assess the situation. “Need help with that Your Highness?”

Dimitri nods, mostly because he doesn’t know what else to do. Sylvain helps him undress like he’s probably on people many times, and struggles when helping Dimitri into the nightclothes. They get stuck, and Dimitri has some difficulty coordinating his movements. He mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

Sylvain answer with a frown. “It was my fault.” They’re done quickly after.

Dimitri slips under the covers with none of his usual grace. Sylvain follows suit, and moves to spoon Dimitri. The familiar presence makes Dimitri sigh, and settles comfortably. He drifts off to sleep quickly after.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
